


Shadow Soliloquies

by Measured



Category: Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24361573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured/pseuds/Measured
Summary: When Ike touches the medallion by accident, Soren refuses to give up on him.
Relationships: Ike/Senerio | Soren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 65





	Shadow Soliloquies

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, I've had corrupted!Ike fic in my drafts since 2008. But, I didn't want Soren to die or be afraid of Ike, so there it remained....until I remembered that scene from ATLA where Katara was able to calm Aang down via a hug, and this FEH update. So it all coalesced into this piece.
> 
> In the end I kept closer to my earlier vision prior to the update actually dropping, where all we had were a few voice lines, than the actual FEH support chain/canon (which I loved, for the record.) That and I was affected by this Laurent/Noire WIP I'm 60k into I had and thought "What if Soren went like Laurent does to Noire, and loved him now matter how violent or chaotic he became? What if Soren saw Ike turn completely monstrous and went "You're still the person I love, even if you're corrupted and full of chaos. You're still you deep down, and if you're going to hell then I'll go with you."
> 
> (Though to make them truly like Laurent and Noire Soren would have to be actively turned on by Chaos!Ike and uhhh lmao that is for another fic.)
> 
> Come to think of it, it probably had a heavy influence of Kyoto arc of Yami no Matsuei, too. I didn't even realize until I was putting the last colors in and went "Huh, these seems familiar--OH!"
> 
> Oh, and canon-typical blood and gore.

I heard your heart beating  
You were in the darkness too  
So I stayed in the darkness with you  
Cosmic Love, Florence + The Machine.

*

It took only a few moments for the world to be cleaved in two. Or, his world, to be precise. Half the world was already left to stone, but Ike had survived then. 

It happened like this: An arrow flew past them. Mist's satchel dropped with a flutter of a filmy cloth. Mia rushed forward to take out the archer, and Ike reached to help Mist pick it up. The moment he touched the satchel, something came across his eyes.There was a faint glow that burst into purple clouds, unfurled like wings at his back, and his face changed to abject cruelty in an instant. 

The person who rose was completely unrecognizable as the man Soren had known and loved--adored--since he was a child. The only one who reached out to him, the only one who accepted him.

_Was this part of you inside all along? Were you hurting this much?_

Ike grimaced, as if in intense pain. There was a lust for blood in his eyes that Soren had only seen once, facing down the Mad King Ashnard. Purple clouds swirled around him, chaos growing stronger by the moment.

"Kill....bring me....more to kill..."

Mist took several steps back. He had never seen such horror in her eyes, not even when commander Greil fell in battle.

"I-Ike?"

Perhaps the only thing saved them was that they were on the battlefield. Had it been within the fort, they would have all perished in an instant, just as Ike's mother before them, and all those villagers who had fallen to Greil's blade. For Ike was quite adept in his swordsmanship, even more so now with one war one.

But, an arrow landed near them. The soldier was young, inexperienced, and his hands shook as he fired off another shot that landed near his feet. 

If he had thought to fell Ike so easily, he was wrong. Ike turned, and clutched his sword.

Even on the battlefield, Ike never resorted to abject cruelty. He made each kill as painless and quick as possible, and never took joy in slaughter. Soren knew that the battles weighed heavily on his mind, long after the bodies were left and they traveled on to the next, seemingly endless, fight.

But now, Ike's mouth twisted in a cruel smirk as he impaled the archer on his sword. Ike pulled back his blood-soaked sword, and turned on the other.

He'd seen this once before. The town filled with bodies. He had checked every one to see if Ike had fallen as well. All that had been the doing of one man. Ike's father, Greil. 

Ike's mother had died that day on Greil's sword.

Through the numbness, the desperation, was the ache that he couldn't be by Ike's side. He couldn't find Ike as he once had.

_Couldn't he...?_

No, this was not the end. They'd freed Rajaion from being a Feral One, though it wasn't enough to save him. Perhaps the gladr could free Ike, too.

"Bring the Herons to the battlefield from the barracks. Their song could yet bring Ike back to us. Stay back and do not let him see you," Soren said.

"But--"

"Ike will not hurt me," Soren said.

But as he said the words, even Soren wasn't sure this was true. Commander Greil had even killed his wife in his berserk state. But, somewhere inside that bloodlust was the man he loved. And he wasn't about to give up on him, even if it did get him killed. If he died on Ike's sword, then the pain would end, and it would be a far less painful life than living a coward and knowing he left Ike alone in his pain.

More, what he wouldn't admit to Mist, was that it was meaningless. If he died with Ike, then at least they were together. It was better than the hell of knowing that Ike was lost in such a horrible pain, caught up in a living hell of unending chaos.

At least there were enough soldiers to be fodder for Ike's inhuman rage. Though their screams and cries of pain made even Soren flinch. And Soren was so composed and unbothered by bloodshed on the battle that it made even Shinon give him strane looks.

But somewhere, in that swirling chaos was the same boy who had reached out his hand to him.

_Wait for me, Ike. I'll find you again, even if it takes my life._

Mist let out a cry. "Soren! You--you can't go. I can't lose both of you. You and Ike are my family." She broke off into a sob at this. "M-Maybe, I could heal him, with my staff. I could..."

"It won't be enough," Soren said. "This is not a mere scratch to be soothed with a heal staff."

"Soren, don't." Titania's voice was firm, commanding, yet there was pain in her green eyes. A smudge of blood and dirt marred her pale cheek. It wouldn't be the first time she'd pushed down her heartache to focus on the task at hand, and saved her tears for the night. She'd stopped him from following after Ike once, during the battle with the Black Knight. This time, however, he had no intention of listening to her, or letting her stop him.

"I'd rather die than live without Ike, or leave him to suffer alone," Soren said.

Before she could even respond, Soren rushed to the battlefield where her harsh command or axe could no longer keep him.

He had to step over mangled corpses, all Ike's own doing. Each was barely recognizable as human. He swallowed, a sinking feeling as blood stained his boots, and the edges of his robes.

The words he had told Mist could be no shield. And even as much as Soren wanted them to be true, he couldn't tell if they would be.

If Ike saw him, would he tear him to pieces like the others? The medallion had taken this from him. His branded blood offered no secret power to heal, no depth of mystery.

He wasn't strong enough to put Ike out of his misery, to raise his hand against him and keep him from killing others. 

For not the first time, Soren hated the Goddess who had ignored his prayers and left him to starve. Now, it was her handiwork which left Ike in this state.

It was not the first time he'd stepped past bodies, and would not be the last. Ike gasped for breath, sheer rage in his eyes as he looked for the next poor soul to sate his bloodlust. He was covered in injuries, his clothes were soaked with his own blood and others.

Flames scorched the earth. One mage among the enemy had managed bring forth several bursts of fire before Ike got to him. The scent of burning flesh and smoke filled the air. 

Even Ike's cloak was singed black. 

"More....I will destroy you all....come....fight me..."

His tunic was torn and bloodied, and not simply the blood of others, either. Through the torn cloth, Soren could see many grievous injuries. Ike had pushed on past his pain, unfeeling in his bloodlust. The ache inside him intensified. At this rate, would there be anything left of Ike to save by the galdr? Or would he be a husk of a corpse, a ghost kept to this mortal pain by sheer rage alone?

All around him, purple clouds of chaotic power of the medallion gathered, mixed with the flames. Neither quite consumed him.

His back was turned. Soren took his chance and quickly caught Ike in an embrace from behind. The aura of chaos was so thick and harsh that even that touch was painful. The hatred and chaos was so thick that Soren felt it lodging in his very bones. Unlike, Ike, he wasn't a good and honorable man. If Ike had been a brigand, then Soren would've gladly robbed and stolen right by Ike. But Ike was a hero, so Soren took on that mantle to be beside him.

And even he was tempted to join Ike in the bloodsport by the power of this goddess. Little whispers filled his mind, until they grew into a scream.

It would be so easy to fall. Just as easy as he had fallen in love. He'd never had any honor anyways.

Through it all, the weight of the temptation that had consumed even Ike, Soren held on.

No matter what, be it Goddess of Chaos or enemy, he would not let go of Ike. He had traveled the entire continent once to find Ike. If it took going to the depths of hell this time, then so be it. Ike was the closest thing to paradise a craven person like him would ever know.

"Come back to me, Ike." His voice came out hoarse through the smoke.

Ike could scarcely make words. His voice was a broken roar of pain and anguish and rage. Soren could feel that fury and pain, as clearly as if it were his own. The medallion was a mirror that reflected the inner chaos of a person. This shadow of Ike was parts of him hidden away, the silhouette of a hero turned villain.

The power of the goddess of chaos wouldn't give him up so easily.

But, even when Ike was turned monstrous, he still loved him with a fierceness that terrified and comforted him all at once. Ike was his guiding light, his apex, his hope, his meaning within this world. Whatever darkness showed only made Soren love him more, and hold tighter. Even as he had no hope that the storm would end, he clung to the one person who had ever shown him true kindness.

If Soren could take that pain, cast down into some endless abyss, he would have.

Soren didn't have the blessings of the gods. If anything, he was considered a curse. He had no Heron's gift. His branded blood was a curse as ever, for it offered no sudden help to him, no way out.

But, he had determination to spend every last second of his life on this wretched, cruel world with Ike, and not gods, not chaos or death would get between that and him.

"I'm not leaving you. If we're drawn to hell, then I'll go there with you. Whatever dark path you take, let me walk it with you," Soren said.

His broad back stiffened suddenly.

"S...oren? Get...back...I..."

Hope and pain in equal amounts filled him. Somewhere in there, the Ike he loved still lived. But, he had hurt, he had suffered enough for thousands. He had never truly grieved his father, and never taken a moment for himself. He had let the whole world turn him into a hero. No matter how much it took from him.

"No...I can't follow that order. Please never tell me to desert you."

"I...can't hold it back. I'm going to... _kill_..."

"Do what you must. I'll never hate you or curse you for such a thing."

Ike shuddered. "Kill--no--destroy--no--"

The smoke and power of chaos made each breath labored and difficult. The flames grew hotter around them. If this was the end, then at least he wouldn't be alone. Soren closed his eyes and held on with all his strength. The moment of lucidity was breaking. He would hold on until his arms were cleaved from his body, until the flames took them both, until death came to claim him.

Suddenly, the cry of a bird filled the air. The flames were beat back by powerful wings. 

Ike was bathed in the light of the galdr. Soren clung tighter. It was not an easy process. The chaos clung to him, in a wild, desperate roar. He needed to reach for his staff, and heal Ike, but he couldn't bring himself to let go even knowing this. It had taken every bit of courage to brave the battlefield, and he was left exhausted by the effort, and barely able to move.

Better men than him had succumbed to chaos completely, and yet for Ike, he had persisted through it all.

"Where am I?" 

Ike groggily looked about the battlefield. 

"Lucky you're still alive, that's what," Tibarn said.

"What..."

Mia rushed to the fray. "Captain! I thought you were a goner!" 

"Ike, I'm so sorry! It's all my fault!" Tears streamed down Mist cheeks. She clutched to him, until his tunic bunched in her grip. "I"m so...sorry! I had a premonition, and I didn't tie the medallion tight enough. I--" 

"Where's Soren?"

"Here," he said softly. His throat was hoarse from smoke, and he couldn't help but break out coughing.

Soren finally, reluctantly, let him go. "Ike, you need healing..."

Both he and Mist lifted their staves at the same time. Ike was not lost, as Rajaion had been, but looking into his eyes there was a new pain, a new horror to add so many others.

Soren would never forgive the goddess for taking that bit of hope from Ike.

*

The horrific battlefield may have been left behind, but the memories were still fresh. Despite a bath, Soren still reeked of smoke, and despite Rhys using the healing staff on him, his lungs still ached.

The campfire crackled. Most of the army had already turned in for the night, but Ike had volunteered for first watch. Soren had stayed, unwilling to let Ike out of his watch for a moment, lest the danger return.

"You barely touched your food tonight," Soren said.

Ike stared into the flames.

"I remember bits of it. It feels like a dream, but it wasn't. I can scarcely believe it was me doing all that."

Ike looked down at his hands.

"This is what father endured. Every day of his life, he knew that he had killed mother. And that nearly happened to me. I nearly killed you," he said, his voice filled with pain.

Soren reached to touch Ike's broad shoulder. "Don't, Ike. It is pointless to dwell on what might have been."

Ike suddenly pulled Soren closer, to his chest where Soren nestled close.

"I can't just forget what's happened, even if you're willing to forgive so easily."

Soren drew back only enough that he could touch Ike's face. "Listen, Ike. You accepted me when no one else did. You're the most honorable person I've ever met. You are a good person. You are. You're not a monster, not at all. Whatever the medallion drew out of you....it doesn't invalidate all that."

"Maybe I've just seen too much of wars, all these endless wars."

"The medallion corrupts. The chaos was conquered for now." 

Ike stared into the flames intently. "For now."

"You should hate me for that," Ike said softly.

"I could never hate you for a moment. Not even if you drew your sword against me," Soren said.

His hands brushed down Soren's long, dark hair. "I know that, and love you for it. But, this didn't come from nothing. Does this mean this exists within me? That the--thing I became is inside me still, just waiting for me to accidentally touch the medallion again?"

"It changes nothing. I still love you. I will always love you. No matter what path you take, I'll always be beside you. Remember that."

Ike fell silent, until there was nothing but the sound of the campfire, and his heartbeat. 

"I know," Ike said.

And that was all Soren needed.


End file.
